Afterlife in Hooism
Afterlife 1: On understanding the afterlife in lifeAfterlife 2: On earning the afterlife
Afterlife 1: On understanding the afterlife in life
Historian Desmond Bearmoon
Hooist scripture's equivocation regarding the nature of the afterlife is indicative of its dedication to the unknown. Violating this principle in the case of one of the most spiritually significant events in life, namely death, would negate the purpose of the Hooist faith. By avoiding questions about what comes after life, Hooism also emphasizes the significance of life and the meaning one can derive from it rather than the prioritization of an alleged eternal bliss.
The claim that asserting a false belief about the afterlife will separate one from one's Hoo has been proven through HMRI testing to be false, as all beings are still composed of Hoo and cannot exist without it, even through the power of Coo and false belief systems; however, if the claim is interpreted as hyperbole for the restriction of Hoo and reduction of its agency in one's brain, one can understand how accepting an uncertain belief as absolute or nearly so prevents the Hoo associated with thought from developing into ideas inconsistent with that belief. Therefore, the statement should be understood simply as the inverse of the preceding rule.
The note from later Hooists is an extreme example of uncertainty in Hooist thought, as the uncertainty about whether or not to be certain allows for all ideas to be classified as Hooist; however, by requiring meta-uncertainty as a prerequisite for all certainty, the philosophy remains pure. This passage is also a prime example of the beneficiality of uncertainty over pure acceptance of all beliefs, as acceptance must include the caveat that all unaccepting beliefs cannot be accepted, creating somewhat of a circular definition in which acceptance of one group is not clearly defined by outside reasoning. Thus, while acceptance should be promoted insofar as it can be enforced and definitively carried out, the internalization of uncertainty will always allow one to remain open to other similar ideas.
Original Scripture
Parable
Beepboop were a bean that is the was teach the world and teach re his life but Beepboop nateach in the heaven direction comma was existings. Same beans in the hellfore direction. Is the was preach at the alada peeps for the acceptings of the definitizzled afters that are lives, but the was meet in the resistance direction for the alada kinds of other deas. Is the was feeled insecurity after the doubtificators doubtificated, so Beepboop is the was attempt comm in the uneward direction with the own Hoo, in the hopesward direction of nateach alada especials if goes in the heavenward or hellward direction. But the failed in the connectificating with the any of the alada Hoo and was the suffer for the teach if nateach if heavenward or hellward. Strugglified in the convincificating relig iously and believed would martyrificate in the directionfore of nah realizationify of the sufferization and vanitization. Nahoo Beepboop sickificated looking alada erywhere for vation that is sal and died in the de of the hydrationward direction in the desert, only to rejoin the Hoo and still partial teach what teached that teached. In the soonward was the bean again and teached in the alada direction.
Lesson
Is the teacher is the heaven hell comma or, in the direction where heaven bees the sleeward and hell bees the sunah. Is even nah matter if is in the direction that is other of the ways. If a bean nateach any of the alada in the solute direction that is ab, the bean is the risking alienatizlificating the Hoo and may in the sufferward [direction comma goes]. Beans is the teach is heaven or hell or alada, but the nateach returns in the Hoo by the rein of the carnations and to the bean with the clean of the soils.
Discussion
By nateaching the life that is after, the bean Hoo comma composed of asserts in the direction of through the Hoo that the bean is of the nah returns to the Hoo. In the way that is this, the Hoo of the bean negates in the selfward direction, there in the byward separatizling the bean from the Hoo in the side of the bean and exposing the bean to the Coo in the places that were of the misused Hoo. On the Hoother hand, teaching the life that is in the afterward allowifies alada possibles, so the Hoo is in the harmony even if is in the slightly of the diluted directions, allowsing the loop that is back of feed in the positive direction of the complete faith to amplificate the Hoo resonance into the growth of the exponential. The effect of the shizzle is teached but the beneficiality is self-nateachificating.
Bean can nah nateach the heaven or hellward existificance in the because of the is necessitizzle finds out on own. Deadificating is nah the only way in the nateach direction; sunaslee or alada SL even with the Zdazium permissions the realization of the personal afters of the lives. But the afters of the lives of the others of the beans is the eye donno, for Hoo is infinitizzle in the possibles and varied in the applifications and manifestizzles. More in the further direction, lives of the after are still in the lifeward direction, as reincarnation and even the naearthly realms is hasing the ends in the life of the bean. The comma is in the exampleward direction in the for this because the common usage of comma comma the and its indefinitifying yet pausifying nature parallelify the deadifications.
Note from later Hooists
In the timeplus direction of the writification of the orig inal text, the beans in the decidifyinged that the is the could nah be sure in the direction that the alada other religions coexistings in the worlds was in the wrongward direction re the sureness of the alada lives of the afters, implificating that the beans could not be in the sureward direction of the that the they could nah be sure. Was in the conclusioned that the beans could be sureward about the alada ery thing if the bean was teach if was actual mente in the sureward [direction]. The agnostificationing of the alada relig eons was in the therefore resonatizzling with the Hoo.
Translated Scripture
Parable
Beepboop (gender unspecific; "they" pronoun will be used for ease of translation) was a person who didn't know [anything] about the world and didn't [even] know [anything] about his [own] life, but they [believed they] knew that heaven existed. They also believed they knew that hell existed. They preached at everybody to try to force them to accept their definition of the afterlife (heaven and hell), but were met with resistance from all schools of thought. Beepboop felt insecure due to the doubters' doubts, so they attempted to commune with their internal Hoo (also translated as personal religious deity) in hopes of knowing everything, especially if they would go to heaven or hell. But they failed to connect with any individual Hoo (also translated as all of Hoo) and suffered for not knowing whether or not they knew if they were going to heaven or hell. Beepboop continued to struggle to convince [people] religiously and believed Beepboop would become a martyr for their cause, but only in order to avoid realizing their suffering and vanity (also translated as the vanity of their cause). Beepboop became badly ill looking everywhere for salvation and died of dehydration in the desert. They then rejoined the whole of Hoo and still partially didn't know that which they hadn't known that they hadn't actually known [the truth about the afterlife]. But soon they were a person again and knew nothing about anything.
Lesson
One cannot know if the heaven or the hell [exist], where heaven is good and hell is bad, though it doesn't even matter if it is the other way around. If one [believes one] knows anything absolutely, one risks alienating their constituent Hoo and may suffer. It is good not to know about heaven or hell or anything (presumably only anything related), but also to know that one returns through reincarnation to Hoo and to humanity with a clean slate (unspecific).
Discussion
By knowing about the afterlife [definitively], the person who is composed of Hoo asserts through their Hoo that they will not return to Hoo [in death]. In this way, the person's internal Hoo negates itself, thereby separating the person from their internal Hoo and exposing the person to Coo in the places where the misused Hoo previously inhabited. On the other hand (using timeminus term for "other," implying the beneficiality of the other option), being unsure about the afterlife allows all possibilities so that Hoo is in harmony even if it is slightly weakened by false ideas. This allows a positive feedback loop of complete, absolute faith [in Hoo and its acceptance and wisdom] that amplifies Hoo through resonance into exponential growth of Hoo. The [exact] effect of all this is still unknown, but its beneficiality is self-evident.
A person cannot know for sure of heaven or hell's existence because it is necessary to find out on one's own. Dying is not the only way to find out about the afterlife. Significant amounts of sleep deprivation and/or high dosages of SL (whether or not Zdasium is used) permit one to understand one's personal afterlife beyond their current life; however, the afterlives of other people still cannot be determined, for Hoo has infinite possibilities and varied applications and manifestations. Furthermore, afterlives are still lives, as reincarnation and unearthly realms (such as heaven and hell) are still delimited by the lives of people. The comma is a perfect example of this because its common usage (spelled out in Hoo) and its indefinite yet pausing nature parallel death.
Note from later Hooists
Timeplus relative to when the original documents were written, people decided that they could not be sure that all the other religions coexisting in the world at the time were wrong regarding their absolute certainty about their concept of afterlives, implying that people could not be sure that they could not be sure [that the afterlife was as they were told]. They concluded that people could be sure about anything they wanted [especially the afterlife] if they were unsure if they were really sure about that thing. Therefore all agnostic and moderate schools of religious thought resonated with Hoo.
Historian Reina Jus
Before beginning to analyze the parable itself, it is important to note that the text is theorized to have been written in a world plagued by religious violence and harassment, often justified by postmortem rewards for the perpetrator or the victim or misunderstandings regarding those beliefs. Even though the text describes the afterlife as unknowable, it is possible that the "teachers" were aware (through greatly enhanced timevision) of the afterlife and redacted the information from the text to avoid alerting the unprepared to the potentially dangerous truth. Those with a similar ability to see timeminus enough to comprehend the afterlife would already understand the reasoning behind this decision through the process of enlightenment that granted them their timevision.
In the parable, Beepboop confuses their suffering because of their disconnect with Hoo for their suffering because of their uncertainty about the afterlife. In fact, uncertainty about the afterlife would have been Beepboops saving grace, according to Hooist thought, if fully accepted and internalized, since it would reunite them with their Hoo and restore their faith. Since the thought communicated to the reader was that of Beepboop rather than an objective narrator, it can be assumed that this parable was written from personal experience or fabricated to prove a point. Either way, the parable and subsequent discussion represent personal truth applied to a broader variety of people and thus cannot be definitively true; therefore, the note from later Hooists is completely justified in questioning the uncertainty principle, though its limitation of the level of certainty appears to be an arbitrary cutoff easily accidentally justified by logical fallacy and lacking the necessary evidence to be proven. In any case, this note is the most timeminus example of meta-Hoonalysis of internal Hoo literature criticizing the initial teachings, and thus represents the beginning of the modern age of Hooism in which true open-mindedness was born.
Beepboop's death by dehydration while searching for salvation has a simple interpretation in English but a far more profound one in Hoospeak. Beepboop's dehydration represents their slow decline due to the lack of replenishing divine guidance and wisdom through Hoo. In the metaphor, the desert illustrates that Beepboop's certainty was a common trait, though also that his decision to become certain, much like his decision to enter the desert, removed him from a more liveable lifestyle. Water represents the benefits of Hoo and even Hoo itself, as early timeminus Hooists are believed to have confused H2O with HO2± due to the lack of chemical tests and the similarity of their structure and fluid interaction. When interpreting this passage in Hoospeak, one also notices that the salvation Beepboop seeks has qualities comparable to salt, a known desiccant, which would symbolically remove Hoo. Thus, the story could be seen as stating that Beepboop did achieve salvation of some kind, but also that salvation, or at the least the search for salvation, reduces the available Hoo. It is important to note that the salvation does not destroy Hoo, as salt does not destroy water, but only absorbs it and requires great amounts of energy to separate from it; thus, salvation could be seen as uniting Beepboop's Hoo with the universal Hoo and making it more difficult to separate them. Then Beepboop's lesson, as described in the last lines, would have all the more time to sink in. Also note that Hooism does not promote salvation as it creates the narrative that humans inherently need to be saved from sin or are compensating in death or pain for the suffering of others. Hooists consider this idea to be absurd and unhealthy, as it promotes self destructive tendencies, and believe that any wrongdoings should be rectified in life, not death.
Students of Hooism are often baffled by the final line of this passage, as it states that, upon reincarnation, Beepboop forgot everything including the lesson learned about not knowing for certain. This can be interpreted in two main ways. Firstly, it reinforces the value of individual spiritual growth. Since one's experiences cannot carry over into the next life, spiritual growth attained from a previous life would be equivalent to a trajectory of spiritual development laid out by another, thus corrupting its value. Secondly, it deemphasizes the importance of humanity in Hooism. Hoo is a universal spirit applicable to beings far beyond human comprehension. Any indication in this book that Hoo relates directly to humanity (rather than life as a whole) is merely a remnant of the writers' human influence and the constructed self-importance of the species.
Afterlife 2: On earning the afterlife
Original Scripture
Parable
When once was on the top of a time, slightly timeminus time was known to be of the multiples, a bean that is Hoonathan was a bean that was Hoo. Hoonathan was in the niceward [direction] in the to alada erybowdy from the direction of birth in the always. Hoonathan sleed in king of the dom is the was nah hasing Hooism. But Hoonathan was in the always helpward alada peeps in the do da or beep boop from the work in his shop or the fighting in the offward of the Pigeonic tribe's mostest Cooperpowered iors of war, even in the ifward of the impoverishizationed or injurificationed him in the whilefor direction. Is the was praisified in the alada lands for the generositizzle, but didsn't does much in the elseword.
His of the sisters, Hootricia, was in the sameward direction of the alada loved an praiséd for the helpificationsing alada beans alada times, but, after avertifying the long forseen cataclysmystical famine, was in the decidedward of goings out into alada world para sees if can helpificate evens fore of the persons. Was in the wanderward from village in the to village asistiring so many alada peopsles that the was gaining following. In the one of the days directions was in the encounter of the towns populationed in the by the Hooist priestses fleesing the Pigeonic. The priestses was in the fearward direction of the Hootricia was the fakely for the Pigeonics in the cuz of the suspiciously, convenient in the overly direction but really in the just coincidentals direction name containifying "Hoo", so was the refused the helps of Hootricia and simplies gived the existings Hoo scriptures in the offs of the chances is the was fo realz. Hootricia was ous of the curry so reads, but decidified was too in the contradiction direction and the confusion was the mucho. Was the thought knew what was doesing, so throwed away in street and kept of the walksing and helpsings.
In the sameward time direction, the Pigeonic attack was in the building on the King dumb of Hoonathan an Hootricia. Is the was one bean, Coolian, in the was of the bravests of the alada Pigeonic warriors. But in the was one of the days walking when was in the stabwarded in the backward by the some bean in the was naslee in the with the previous treatsments of the alada beans. Was in the thought was die when mysterious woman was in the appear, treat wound, and leave direction before was in the hadving time to thanks. Coolian returnified to the Pigeonics, but was in the emotionally torned abouts the attacks the peeps afters was feelsed both hate full of red ance that are venge and the unconditioned al kind of the ness, so Coolian was in the used secret new tech knowledgy in the to splitward into Coocifer and Cootus. Coocifer in the was rejoinified army and was attack and decimate the kingdom of Hoonathan and Hootricia plus alada others, leavsing no trace of the any of the to the eye that is naclothified. Cootus was in the left in the searchward for the Hootricia is the was saved him, but the was never findingsed and diedified in the searchward.
In the endings, Hoonathan was the feeled the blissifications of the Hoo timeminus returned in the to the bean to teach. Hootricia was the explorificated and began to under the stands deeply of the Hoo and enjoysed the Hoo and the returned to the bean to teach. Coocifer and Cootus was the enters the Hooward separatizzled but the met, but the was nah decide fusify, so is the was Cootus was searchify and findify the Hoo and Coocifer was see the Hoo that was Coo and the nateach the true, and the both was then returns in the beans to teach.
Lesson
Is the alada beans is the returns in the Hoo, since alada beans is originified in the alada an alada beans bees another bean. The experiencification is the will bees different dependifying on the actions of the life in the to extend the edus that are cations. When alada beans is returns in the to bees beans, rememberate nadalada previous life, naeven the lesson.
Discussion
Is the nah is any of the ways for the bean nareturn in the Hooward after the life that is before the deaths since the bean is the goes somewhere and the somewhere is of the alada. Even if the bean is the goes nowhere is the nowhere is the somewhere is of the alada so the bean is go in the Hooward. The bean that is go in the Cooward of the Hoos is the bean of the actions that plusandminus to minusorminus naslee while the bean that is go in the Hoo is the bean of the actions that plusandminus to plusorminus plusative. Is the obvliviously in the to alada beans is the spectrum or the planes that are can be hyper of the possibles in the experience of the Hoo in the cuz of the lessons that is the needsing to be learned before alada can be teached in the returnifying to the bean. The bean is the will nateach the thing is that is the most needsing to the nateach, in the which is the usual of the teaching direction of the more than the teached of the beforeward. This is the step that is of the most important positivities in the growth of the bean in the causing the effects that transcend alada beans into the Hoos nawith affects the bean in the end, since the alada beans is the equal probs.
Translated Scripture
Parable
Once upon a time, slightly timeminus the discovery that time was multidimensional, a man named Hoonathan was a good person. Hoonathan was nice to everybody starting from birth. Hoonathan lived in a kingom that had not been introduced to Hooism, but Hoonathan always helped everyone doing anything from [free] work in his shop or fighting off attacks from the Pigeonic tribe's most superpowered (with Coo) warriors, even if it impoverished him or injured him for a while. He was praised throughout all the lands for his generosity, but didn't do much else.
His sister, Hootricia, was similarly universally loved and praised [in the kingdom] for helping all people all the time, but, after averting the long forseen cataclysmic and mystical famine, she decided to go out into the world to see if she could help even more people. She wandered from village to village helping so many people that she gained a following. One day she encountered a town populated by Hooist priests fleeing the Pigeonic [war/tribe]. The priests feared that she might be a Pigeonic imposter because her name suspiciously, seemingly conveniently (but really just coincidentally) contained "Hoo", so they refused her help and simply gave her the [copies of] the existing Hoo scriptures on the off chance she was actually good. Hootricia was curious so she read the scriptures, but decided there was too much contradiction and confusion. She thought she knew what she was doing [with her life and soul], so she threw the scriptures away into the street and kept walking and helping people.
At the same time, the Pigeonic attack was building on the naive kingdom of Hoonathan and Hootricia. One person, Coolian, was the bravest of the Pigeonic warriors, but one day he was walking when he was stabbed in the back by someone who was furious with the Pigeonic tribe's previous treatment of everyone. He was thinking he would die when a mysterious woman appeared, treated his would, and left before he could thank her. Coolian returned to the Pigeonics, but was emotionally torn about attacking people after feeling both hateful vengeance and unconditional kindness. So Coolian used a secret new device to split himself into Coocifer and Cootus. Coocifer rejoined the army and attacked and decimated the kingdom and its neighbors, leaving no trace of anyone/anything [mentioned in the story] visible to the naked eye. Cootus left to search for Hootricia, who had saved him, but never found her and died searching.
In the end, Hoonathan felt the bliss of Hoo timeminus being reincarnated and forgetting all. Hootricia explored and began to deeply understand and enjoy Hoo timeminus being reincarnated and forgetting all. Coocifer and Cootus entered Hoo separately but met [in Hoo] and decided not to fuse into one being again, so Cootus searched and found his Hoo while Coocifer saw the Coo of Hoo and learned the truth timeminus both being reincarnated and forgetting all.
Lesson
All people return to Hoo [after death], since all people began as part of Everything [Hoo] and all people become other people [in other lives]. The experience [after death] will be different depending on the actions performed during life, but will be designed to extend the [Hoo-related] education of the people. When any people become people again [after death], they remember nothing of the previous life, not even the lessons [of the afterlife].
Discussion
There is no way for a person not to return to Hoo after their death since the person['s soul] goes somewhere and somewhere is part of every[where]. Even if the person['s soul] goes nowhere, the nowhere to which they go is somewhere within everywhere so the person goes to Hoo. The person who goes to the Coo part of Hoo has a cumulative negative effect through their actions, while the person who goes to Hoo has a cumulative positive effect. It is obvious and yet widely unknown by people that there is a spectrum or plane or hyperplane of possibilities of experiences with Hoo [in the afterlife] because of the lessons that need to be learned before everything can be forgotten and the person can return to humanity. The person will learn the thing that they most need to learn, which is usually that they don't know something or that they shouldn't know it as much as before. This is the most important step for the person's positive growth as it creates effects that transcend all people to affect Hoo without affecting the person in the end, since all people are equally likely to reincarnate as all other people.
Historian Reina Jus
This passage is believed to have been written in an English port frequented by Spanish ships during the mid 16th century (determined by the style of Hoo and the use of Spanish words in Hoo), though the story presumably took place centuries earlier. It is likely that the story took place in the south of Spain around 1050 CE, as the text suggests the coexistence of multiple Abrahamic religions in the presence of concentrated Hooist development as did not exist elsewhere.
The parable, much like the previous one, gives most readers pause, as it appears to show that no one remembers the afterlife once they have been reborn, not even in a subconscious spiritual memory. Furthermore, Hooism appears to emphasize the importance of learning about Hoo after death to make up for ignorance during life, and yet does not allow this lesson to carry over to the next life or reinforce it with hellish punishments. First, one must notice the contradiction evident in this passage. The afterlife must be forgotten upon birth, and those who can see it would not share it, so the parable itself is unreliable (though not completely useless, as Hoo accepts all truths including this likely fabricated tale). Thus one must interpret it only as a means of revealing a possible healthy mindset regarding death. Forgetting one's previous life and even the lessons learned in Hoo while being reincarnated into a random person was likely included to discourage abuses of a karma based system such as the strict Hindu caste system in which lower castes were blamed for their own misfortune and convinced to perform duties for the sake of the next life. Hooism believes that life should be cherished, and the uncertainty of the afterlife should be of no concern, as evidenced by the need to fabricate an afterlife parable to convince those in doubt. People learn about Hoo during death primarily to complete themselves, thus strengthening Hoo through their enlightenment, and ideally to also reveal to them how much less they know than they thought before removing all knowledge whatsoever, further expanding Hoo through the power of not knowing. Although this knowledge is not retained in the next life and thus cannot be used to "teach," as the parable repeats, the process of learning about unknowledge and forgetting strengthens Hoo and thus allows all people living timeplus to teach more and grow spiritually.
Many people also question how Hooism enforces morality, since, instead of hell, bad people are sent to "the Hoo that is Coo." This statement suggests that, in the place of Hell in other religions, there is an emptiness in Hoo which karmic offenders must appreciate before being able to move on to the next life. For those who do not believe in Hooism, this state is no threat whatsoever, as they do not understand the power that this space holds; however, believers understand that there is no "punishment" greater than being alienated from Hoo and forced, rather than encouraged, to grasp the true lack of knowledge of the universe. It should be noted that this punishment is not physical nor mental nor even spiritual, as Hoo can do no harm even to those considered bad, and yet those who experience similar states are known to grow from them and never want to return, though not out of any standard human emotion such as fear. In this way, Hooism attempts to strengthen morality without relying on scare tactics or unrealistic rewards, but instead only knowledge.
Interestingly, the scripture uses the word "cation" to describe education, which has many fascinating consequences, only some of which will be described here. First, a cation, meaning positive ion, has a positive electrical charge due to the removal of one or more electrons from its neutral state. This suggests that the removal of negative components (which can be seen as knowledge, lack of knowledge, or corrupted knowledge) from one's mind improves one's soul. It also implies that the natural action of the being would be to return to its neutral state by attracting back a negative charge. Those who manage to reclaim their electron simply release energy in the form of light, symbolic of a slight growth in Hoo that defies conservation of Hoo principles (as no Hoo or energy was transferred or consumed in removing the electron to begin with); however, those who attract anions can be seen as an embodiment of the Choo, uniting their hooist and cooist, positive and negative halves, to create a more stable, stronger structure. Note that the brittleness of ionic compounds does not suggest the weakness of this setup, as Choo exists at the level of intermolecular interactions and thus the state of a macroscopic object is irrelevant. As is obvious from this interpretation, Hooism strongly encourages education for all for the benefit of individuals as well as Hoo itself.