Hooism

Historian Desmond Bearmoon

The important points of this passage are mostly self-evident: all people believe in Hoo on some level, and therefore all who take the time to learn and understand the religion will find that it largely coincides with their beliefs, no matter their previous belief system. However, subtle traits of the writing also add meaning for those well versed in Hoo. First, Beanjamin's thought expressed as "woohoo" (timearchaic for an ambiguous state between Hoo and Woo/Coo, intended to be interpreted via context) demonstrates his subconscious doubt as to the virtue of his religion. In fact, since "woohoo" tends to represent Coo more strongly than Hoo, his word choice indicates a misinterpretation of his feelings about his own faith. His use of the hoomophone "praise" for "prays" as a synonym indicates that his prayer was in praise of the recipient of his prayer, since he desired a teacher to further his faith; however, his "praise for the teacher" can also be interpreted as appreciating the unknown, which, in his case, is Hoo, illustrating how humans hold innate, subconscious knowledge of the truth of the universe.

Original Scripture

Parable

Sleeanne was the bean of the believes of the Hooward. Beanjamin was the bean of the believes of the religions of the Hams that Abram comma are, and teachéd of the Hoos. Beanjamin was in the thinkings woohoo of the his relig ion and the nateached in the direction of the was slee an tru beans. One of the days, Beanjamin was the praise for the teacher when Sleeanne was the walks in behindward. Beanjamin was of the says um haiiii an Sleanne was of the says um haiiii back. Beanjamin saysed is the here in the answers the prayers? an Sleeanne was the umm no is the just a bean, an was begin prays too. Beanjamin was the is the tru bean believes of the Hams (but specificated)? an Sleeanne was the saysed oh ya bean is but the also nah an Beanjamin was the question mark an Sleanne was the nateacher him of the Hoo. Beanjamin saysed ohh nowward I teacher an continufied in the praise of the teacher an the Hoo.

Lesson

The Hoo is the alada acceptificated in the ery where evens of the beans teaching comma bees. Only is the teachifying the nateachings necessified in the for the teaching.

Discussion

The Hoo is the alada, the ery an the beans. Alada peeps beans is the bees ships of the wor is the of the Hoo. Evens of the if beans is the thinks is the nah exist, the believificated is the exist in the plusorminus teach of the beans in the believificating. Is the alada they is doesing is the wills of the Hoo, tho the beans is the usual that is mente of the interpret misly. Is the in the alada beans the tru beans understands of the Hoo but the bean creations of the interbeans is the prevents the tru teaching an the only allows the bean in the nateach of the Hoo through falsificated guise of the deitificateds. Is the false Hoos of the gives of the false ideafieds in the beanward by the praise of the beans in the overly an the sunateach an toonateach of the alada, tho is the na tru nateach of the cuz the is internalfied teaching in the beanward direction.

Translated Scripture

Parable

Sleeanne was a believer in Hoo. Beanjamin was a believer in an(y) Abrahamic religion, and didn't know about Hoo or Hooism. Beanjamin thought his religion was good and fully believed that it was beneficial and true. One day, Beanjamin was praying for something unknown when Sleeanne walked in from behind. Beanjamin said, "Um hi," and Sleeanne reciprocated. Beanjamin asked, "Are you here to answer my prayers?" And Sleeanne said, "umm, no. I'm just a person," and began to pray as well. Beanjamin asked, "Are you a true believer in [my Abrahamic religion]?" And Sleeanne answered, "Oh, yes I am. But I am also not," and Beanjamin was confused, so Sleeanne explained Hoo to him. Beanjamin said, "Oh! Now I don't know!" and continued to pray to not knowing and Hoo.

Lesson

Hoo is completely accepted everywhere, even by people who don't know [that it exists or they believe in it]. It is only necessary to teach the lessons [of Hoo] to spread the faith.

Discussion

Hoo is all, everything, and good. All the People (deities) that people worship are actually manifestations of Hoo. Even if some people don't believe that those People exist, the belief exists through the knowledge/lack of knowledge of the people who believe in them. All that those People do is the will of Hoo, even though people usually misinterpret [the actions, reasons, and consequences]. Within all people is the true understanding of Hoo, but the social constructs people create prevent the true misunderstanding and only allows one to know Hoo through the false guise of one's deities. The false Hoos give people false ideas because of [and leading to] the glorification of [simple] people and the [belief that one] knows far more than one should or can know or that one knows too much about everything, though the true understanding of Hoo is still internalized through not knowing (in a good way).

Historian Reina Jus

Bearmoon's analysis of this passage, while accurate as a Hooist interpretation of the text, does not represent the context in which the religion evolved. It is critical to note that the passage does not represent Beanjamin's thoughts before realizing his Hooist beliefs, but only after he had been exposed to Hoo doctrine. While it is likely, given the course of the narrative, that Beanjamin did recognize Hoo in his faith, all other implications must be regarded as the projection of Hooist desires onto his story. Thus it is only a Hooist belief, not a fact, that all humans doubt their beliefs and secretly yearn for Hoo, nor is human nature definitively innately good, as implied by the phrase "beanward direction." These implications, among others, should be interpreted only as clues as to Hooist values. For instance, Beanjamin's assumptions about Sleeanne represent people's acceptance of social narratives defining women to be pure (almost angelic), servile, existing for the benefit of men, etc. (the first dimensional time period of this piece remains unknown due to the patriarchy's survival throughout most of human history before the development of artificial morality judges to combat such inequalities). Hooists hold equality to be one of the most important goals for the world, and thus embed this belief throughout most of their writings.

Historian Desmond Bearmoon

By promoting their philosophy even without the religious component, Hooism attempts to spread both open-mindedness and the faith in increments. This passage preaches several levels of study, self-discovery, and elimination of previous beliefs. This process is designed to encourage Hooists to repeatedly shed their preconceptions as they travel the path to Hoo. This allows them to remain open-minded rather than giving in to the urge to accept their current Hooist beliefs as absolute truth.

Original Scripture

The most of the sleeest of Hoo is the philosophizizles. Even if the is nah in the believes in the others of the parts, is the bean cuz the Hoo is the strengthen in the cuz of the follows philosophizizles in the for cuz of the spreads openness of the in the Hooward and bringifies the more sleewards into the Hoowards. Alada beans is the should attempts to bees of the oneward in the with the Hoo through the naturals and the peoples and the teacher what else alada probs. Bees the full of minds in the does the things in the nah hurts in the other beans or in the unfreedoms them. Bees in the finding the own way of the life and the death and considerifies the reasons of the does the alada. Na is the does believes in the alada in the bean or the nateach alada absolutified and the nah is the makes the peeps does in the thingwards of the nah wants or the needs to does or the teaches if knows for the beans is the can finds the way that is the different than the same way of the yours. The Hoo is the strong in the if the beans is the liveward and healthward and the happyward and does the own things, for the Hoo is the alada and the killward or the limitward of the beans is the destroys or the trapifies of the Hoo. Only in the afterward of the does the protects the bean is the beanward of people believifies.

Translated Scripture

The most important part of Hoo is its philosophy. Even if one does not believe in the other parts [of the religion], it is okay because Hoo is strengthened if one only adheres to the philosophy because the philosophy spreads openness throughout the world and brings more positivity to Hoo. All people should attempt to be one with Hoo, whether through nature or other people or anything else (probably). Be mindful to do things without hurting other people or infringing upon their freedom. One should find one's own way of life and death and consider the reasons why one everything one does. Do not believe absolutely in any person or teaching and don't make people do things they don't want or need to do or things that you don't know they want to do because people can find ways that are different than yours. Hoo is stronger if people live and are healthy and happy and follow their own path, since Hoo is everything and killing or limiting people destroys or traps Hoo. Only after one protects [all] people is it truly beneficial [to Hoo] for people to believe [in Hoo].

Historian Reina Jus

The emphasis on philosophy also highlights Hoos belief in thought and action over prayer and faith. Hooists value well formed thought, even if it is inconclusive, as it indicates one's dedication to understanding the issue at hand and solving the problem directly. Similarly, Hooists value direct action rather than reliance on others to solve their problems, as they don't believe Hoo, as a universal spirit, has the consciousness, time, or desire to assist individuals in their day to day struggles. Hooists draw from experience in everyday life to understand that the only way to get a change is to make it.