Hooism

Historian Desmond Bearmoon

Hooism asks its devotees for high levels of commitment. While easier in ancient days of primality, hatred and violence against pigeons has become more and more disputed and scrutinized. To become a true Hooist, a person must first embrace their primal tendencies to capture a pigeon. At the same time, however, the individual also undergoes an intellectual initiation. The person thinks critically about their relationship with Hoo. The new generation of Hooists is able to learn about the meaning of its existence in relation to Hoo as well as preparing to assume the responsibility of ridding the world of Coo. Hooification seems to be a balanced blend of primal and civil rites.

While Nacooification is considered a holiday of unification for Hooists to eradicate evil from the world, increased aggression as of late has brought it into the negative spotlight . If pigeons are considered to be civilians, it can be regarded as a form of terrorism (the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, for political aims). Nacooification has undergone many iterations to reduce the amount of real violence, among which was the pigeon figurine alternative. The proclaimed inclusivity of Hooism is at odds with its anti-pigeon propaganda. The presence in scriptures of the female protagonist, Hoolivia, however, is much acclaimed. This Hooist scripture was before its time, featuring a female archer in one of its core parables. Feminist values seldom make appearances in religious contexts, and in so doing, Hooism has attracted many liberals that may otherwise steer clear of religion's potentially restrictive tendencies.

Original Scripture

Parable

The sun was of the shinings and a light breeze was blowificating. A Hoo bean calleded Hoolivia had is of the hoodea to have a slee tai in the direction of sides that are out. There was of the nahooer way in which to does the slee; to connectificate and sensificate the natures and the Hoo within at the same time is of the sleeing is was the very of the most spiritual tais. Hoolivia was in of the dary bound between naslee and slee, about to enter the bless of the ed realm of sleetai when suddenly a pigeon of the most coo variety droppeded its waste on the al of the most aslee bean. Hoolivia enragificated, and right of the fully so; how fully, toe of the taily blasphemous of the Coop resident to disrupt the elevated slee tai of poor bean. The bean clean of the herselvesed and when she returneded of the sides that are out, found p(c)oo allada up down the floor. The coo monster stared evilly at Hoolivia, and Hoolivia nateached and felted that the pigeon would be of the comes threat to allada ery beans that trieded to connectifacte with Hoo. Hoolivia did the grab of the bow and the arrow of hers and just as CooP was aboot to flap flap of the aways, shotted in the itward direction and deaded it. Bean did of the rid the world of nahoo creature and was of the abling to sleeward, and so were the abling allada beans the pigeon would have terrorificated.

Lesson

To ridificate the world of allada that is in the na toe tail hoo direction, e of the specially in the Cooward direction is the blessificating the internal souls and also as well in the addition the rest of the world. Rest is also knowings as slee, and to make hooer the slee of the world is the best shadoozle a bean can do.

Discussion

When a youngbean turns of the 10+7 years old, the youngbean can become a true Hooson or Hoodata upon the completionings of cer of the tain shizzles in ceremony called Hooification. Among the shizzles is the doesing of the capture a CooP with the bare hands. The bean must spend 51 minutes in room alone with the CooP and E of the merge unscathed and be then abling to release it into world. At this tick tock time, the youngbean does the recite "Who sues Sue's shoes whose shoes Hoo su sues?" 17 tai naslowly. The youngbean is now Hooson or Hoodata. On the 42^nd of ery month, a Hooson or Hoodata does the shoot of the one pigeon with arrow accompanied by bow like Hoolivia.

First Note from Later Hooists

Is of the importance to realize that Hooism does most cer of the tainly not ad the vocate violence against animals, only the pigeon that in of the carnates ery of the na Hoo (see Coo 2: On the evil nature of pigeons). Beans mustn't feel the guiltward; the pigeon does the literal speak and live in the spirit of Coo. Using the bow and the arrow variety of weapon for this Hooliday is a notable shiz. A bean su na should does the approach the Coo the cause being it does the tarnish the Hoo in a bean. Inside a stead, a bean sees the Coo and nateaches the existence and locations, launches an extension of the selves to eradicatificate the Coo.

Archer of the E variety is su lata antiderivative to Hooism. Trajectories of the parabolic variety are most certain of the lee hoo, but allada does not do the relying on calculafication. While shooting, the stance does the depending on a feeling in the bean, and the aim does the relying on plusorminusing. Archer of the E is about the trial and the error and the refinifcating from the (n-1)th shot. Is su repetitive natures is leading me to believe that the aim is to ery of the time engage in the improvification of the selfs.

Second Note from Later Hooists

"Who sues Sue's shoes whose shoes Hoo su sues?" is recitation with much of the meaning and importance to Hooism. Shoes is of the manner in which beans are connectificated to the Hoo and groundeded to the Earths and realities around them. To sue a shoe is to D of base a bean's foundation. "Who sues..." inside of the quires who dares does the suing or D of the basing a bean's link to Hoo. This bees of the causing Hoo will then does the su sue and cuts off the bean (this is also as well contradiction be of the causing Hoo does suing as punish for suing). Is basis of Hooism; beans should na does allow N E bowdy to compromise the believing system and loyalty of theirs, and also the beans teach allada, especial E who might bees threat to they and balance that belongs to them internally and externally.

Is able to note that "Who sues Sue's shoes whose shoes Hoo su sues?" is having equal amount of repeated sounds as the recitation of the Islamic variety "La Ilaha Ila Allah Hu," which is meaning that is na God but Allah. The su parallel is ind of the icative of Hooism's ties to allada other systems of belief.

Third Note from Later Hooists

Cruel T is cruel T, not does the mattering against which type of being. This parable is of the hyperbol of the E variety; is na to bees interpretificated with a literal E, lest Hooist beans be of the comes X tremist murderers. The ment in the state direction "To ridificate the world of allada that is in the na toe tail hoo direction... " is treacherous one. To me, and to allada beans I is has heard from, Hooism does the claims to bees religion of inclusive, ful of peace, and nasu cold variety. Is should does disapprove, but na hate and bees aggresive toward allada that is na Hoo. I is propose to my fellow Hooists that the Nacooification bees altered so that beans does the shoot a pigeon figurine, na real pigeons. Is na fair to deadify the pigeon, simply the creature of which the Coo uses bowdy as means to spread the naHoo. Nacooification should does the rather bees to wipe self of Coo thoughts and deadify the idea of Coo, na the vehicle of Coo.

Translated Scripture

Parable

The sun was shining and a light breeze was blowing. A nice gal named Hoolivia had the good idea to sleep outside. There was no better way in which to sleep; to connect with and sense nature and the Hoo within while sleeping is the most spiritual experience. Hoolivia was in the boundary between sleeping and not sleeping, about to enter the blessed realm of sleep time when suddenly a terrible, Coo pigeon dropped its waste on the nearly asleep girl. Hoolivia became enraged, and rightfully so; how totally blasphemous of the Coop resident to disrupt the elevated sleep time of the poor human. She cleaned herself and when she returned outside, found poop all over the floor. The pigeon stared evilly at her, and Hoolivia knew and felt that the pigeon would become a threat to all of the humans that tried to connect with Hoo. Hoolivia grabbed her bow and arrow, and just as the CooP was about to fly away, shot it and killed it. The woman rid the world of the awful creature and was able to sleep, and so were all of the humans the pigeon would have otherwise terrorized.

Lesson

To rid the world of everything that is not totally Hoo, especially that which is Coo, is to bless the internal soul as well as the rest of the world. Rest is also known as sleep, and to improve the sleep of the world is the best deed a human can do.

Discussion

When a young person turns 17 years old, the young person can become a son or daughter of Hoo upno the completion of certain customs in a ceremony called Hooification. Among the customs is capturing a pigeon with bare hands. The child must spend 51 minutes in a room alone with the pigeon and emerge unscathed, then being able to release it into the world. At this time, the child recites "Who sues Sue's shoes whose shoes Hoo su sues?" 17 times quickly. The child is now a Hooson or a Hoodata. On the 42^nd of every month, a Hooson or Hoodata must shoot one pigeon with a bow and arrow like Hoolivia.

First Note from Later Hooists

It is important to realize that Hooism most certainly does not advocate for violence against animals, rather only the pigeon that incarnates everything that is not Hoo (see Section Coo 2: On the evil nature of pigeons). Humans mustn't feel guilty; the pigeon literally speaks and lives in the spirit of Coo. Using the bow and arrow for this holiday is a notable tradition. A person should not approach the Coo because it might tarnish the person. Instead, a person can see the Coo in the world, and knowing the existence and location, can launch an extension of the self to eradicate the Coo.

Archery is very integral to Hooism. Parabolic trajectories are most certainly delightful, but not everything has to rely on calculation. While shooting, the stance depends on feeling, and the aim relies on estimation. Archery is about trial and error and refinement from the previous shot. Its repetitive nature leads me to believe that the aim is to engage in the improvement of the self every time.

Second Note from Later Hooists

"Who sues Sue's shoes whose shoes Hoo su sues?" Is a recitation with much meaning and importance to Hooism. Shoes are the manner in which humans are connected to Hoo and grounded to Earth and the realities around them. To sue a shoe is to debase a human's foundation. "Who sues..." inquires who dares sue, or debase, a person's link to Hoo. This is because Hoo will very much sue and cut off the person (this is also a contradiction because Hoo sues as punishment for someone suing). It is the basis of Hooism; people should not allow anybody to compromise their belief system and loyalty, and people don't know anything, especially who might be a threat to them and their internal and external balance.

It is notable that "Who sues Sue's shoes whose shoes Hoo su sues?" has equal amounts of repeated sounds as the Islamic recitation "La Ilaha Ila Allah Hu," which means that there is no God but Allah. The clear parallel is indicative of Hooism's ties to all of the other systems of belief.

Third Note from Later Hooists

Cruelty is cruelty, no matter against which type of being. This parable is a hyperbole; it is not to be interpreted literally, lest Hooists become extremist murderers. The statement "to rid the world of everything that is not totally Hoo.." (section, line) is a treacherous one. To me, and to all of the people I have heard from, Hooism claims to be an inclusive, peaceful, and warm religion. It should disapprove, but not hate and be aggresive toward all that is not Hoo. I propose to my fellow Hooists that Nacooification be altered so that people shoot pigeon figurines, not real pigeons. It is not fair to kill the pigeon, simply the creature of which Coo uses the body as a means to spread that which is not Hoo. Nacooification should rather involve cleansing the self of Coo thoughts and killing the idea of Coo, not the vehicle of Coo.

Original Modern Scripture

With D mands of mundane life, is nalways E Z to reach Hoo with manipulationing slee levels. Is ways to does artificial E simulate hoo E of the ffects of slee and naslee. Is with drug called SL(ee). SL is abling to make brain activities bees as if nasleed with na hasing to actual manipulation slee levels. Spirituali T is abling to reach new heights for Hooists with SL.

Although SL is of the well kept C cret by most Hooists, many embed hints that SL is their inspirations through the work of theirs. SL is su lata found in literature, most notabl E The Scarlet Letter which was wrote by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Hester is the branded by scarlet letter "A" the cause being her apparent sin of adulter E. First a symbol of allada opprobrium from societ E, the SL comes to present again Hester's primality. She is soon wear with pride. When burrs is thrown at SL in forest, they do the stick to it. Allada Romantic ideals in book do the suggesting that with SL, Hester is abling to powerful E change perception of the beans and come towards the terms with her identi T. Hawthorne does indicate that ery bean should be clads with own U nique SL to has life of individuali T. SL is way for beans to S cape confines of societal structures and M braces the E motions and primality that they has.

Students in timerecent dis of the covered the abili T of SL to decay and interact with standard earth atmosphere mixed with levels that are intense of teaching to create HO₂^±. SL itself did the originating in a facility of the Soviet nuclear testing variety. A scientist that goed by H created a form that was limited of combinations of cold fusion and fission that did the produce the SL (Si + Li - I₂). Is antimatter. Is can only bees created at this plant, and only at the tick tock tai B of the tween when accident did happened and when plant was D of the stroyed in mission by CIA Hooists to use tai travel to navifigate into plant with na hasing to physical E travel to it. Is was the SL that gaved scientists necesizzle brain capabilities to creates tai travel. Inside a finity beans can takes SL from plant the cause being they arrive at different point in 2nd dimension tai so SL from that point in tai in the plant still bees and can be tooks to N E of the beans. Is has been spreadificated with travel of tai all up down the histor E (all of the thoughs bees limited flow to B fore 500 CE the cause being tai travel restrictions did limit passage beyond the point that is this).

This su hoo substance does work be of the causing the namatter is coat in in of the su lative layer of energy (na matter and na namatter) that separatizzles it from matter until bees in contact with activi T of electrical variety on scale of functions that are cognitive. Barrier then does the breaking down and SL inter of the acts with brain, X of the ploding as namatter and matter collide. The X plosion again leases energy that does powering of functions of the brain and also as well alpha and beta radiations and also as well uses electricphoto E ffect (photons generated by X plosion does turning into electron and also positron) to does produce nalow speed ions that allow su faster brain function bees of the causing they hasing na E qual and namore mass than neurotransmitters of normal variety. This does cause damage to brain dues to X elerated aging as well as also and D struction of matter in X plosion. For reasons of this variety, Zdasium is hasing to be taken to again build brain matter andor to does provide buffer matter to bees D stroyed.

Zdasiuk famil E in Canada did the discovering newlement which su lata has attraction force that is strange to namatter and can does D of the composing and re of the forming into phospholipids when bees in contact with impulses of electrical variety (and so hence thus they heals neurons with holes in phospholipid bilayer when they comes into contact with them as they attempts to fire). Drug is was founded by communicationing with life that is wild and dis of the covering that C cret to su intelligent meese (that is now X tinct the cause being rush by US government to take allada zdasium to analasyze so could does the synthesize inside lab). Government that was of the US bought with cash monies the discovery and gived them NDA and also maded deal with Canada to use drug to make is SL safer. The sound of "zzz" in zdasium is meaning that does recover the bowdy like does the slee tai.

Translated Scripture

With the demands of mundane life, it is not always easy to reach Hoo with manipulating sleep levels. There is a way to artificially simulate the good effects of sleeping and not sleeping. It is with a drug called SL(ee). SL is able to make brain activities be as if the person did not sleep without actually having to actually manipulate sleep levels. Spirituality is able to reach new heights for Hooists with SL.

Althuough SL is a well kept secret by most Hooists, many embed hints that SL is their inspiration through their work. SL is very much found in literature, most notably The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Hester is branded by the scarlet letter "A" because of her apparent sin of adultery. First a symbol of opprobrium from society, the SL comes to represent Hester's primality. She soon wears it with pride. When burrs are thrown at the scarlet letter in the forest, they stick to it. All of the Romantic ideals in the book suggest that with SL, Hester is able to powerfully change people's perception and come to terms with her identity. Hawthorne indicates that every person should be clad with their own unique scarlet letter to have a life of individuality. SL is the way for people to escape the confines of societal structures and embrace the emotions and primality they have.

Students recently discovered SL's ability to radioactively decay and interact with the standard earth atmosphere mixed with intense levels of not knowing to create HO₂^±. SL itself originated in a Soviet nuclear testing facility. A scientist that went by H accidentally created a form of combination cold fusion and fission that produce SL (Si + Li - I₂). It is antimatter. It can only be created at this plant and only at the time between when the accident happened and when the plant was destroyed in a mission by CIA Hooists to use time travel to navigate into the plant without having to physically travel to it. It was SL that gave the scientists the necessary brain capabilities to create time travel. Infinite amounts of humans can take SL from the plant because they arrive at different points in second dimension time so SL from that point in time in the plant still exists and can be taken to anyone. It has been spread with time travel all over history (although there is limited flow to before 500 CE because time travel restrictions limited passage beyond this point).

This amazing substance works because the antimatter is coated in an insulated layer of energy (neither matter nor antimatter) that separates it from matter until it comes in contact with electrical activity on the scale of cognitive function. Then the barrier breaks down and SL interacts with the brain, exploding as the antimatter and matter collide. The explosion releases energy that powers brain functions and alpha and beta radiation as well as using the photoelectric effect (photons generated by the explosion turn into electrons and positrons) to produce high speed ions that allow faster brain function because they have less mass than normal neurotransmitters. This causes brain damage due to accelerated aging as well as at the destruction of matter in the explosion. This these reasons, Zdasium must be taken to rebuild brain matter and/or provide buffer matter to be destroyed by SL.

The Zdasiuk family in Canada discovered a new element which has a strange attractive force to antimatter and can decompose and reform into phospholipids when it comes into contact with electrical impulses (thus they heal neurons with holes in their phospholipid bilayers when they come into contact with them as they attempt to fire). The drug was found by communing with wildlife and discovering the secret to highly intelligent meese (now extinct due to a rush by the US government to take zdasium to analyze so it could be synthesized in the lab). The US government purchased their discovery and gave them an NDA and made a deal with Canada to use the drug to help make SL safer. The "zzz" sound in zdasium means that it recovers the body like sleeping does.

Historian Reina Jus

As medical research has begun to stress more and more the importance of sleep for a person's wellbeing, Hooism has been heavily scrutinized for "trivializing" it. Consistent sleep deficiency can increase the risk of heart disease, kidney disease, diabetes, and more. While religion is often at odds with science, Hooism claims to align itself with modern mathematic and scientific theories. Religions do however, urge humans to push their boundaries and create new limits of existence for reasons of spiritual elevation. In the month of Ramadan, for example, Muslims do not allow themselves to eat from sunrise to sunset (a choice they make themselves if they deem it reasonable given the status of their health). The days become longer as the lunar calendar moves earlier in the Gregorian calendar each year. Similarly, Hooists claim that the manipulation of sleep levels is self-imposed. They do not sleep to a point where it is challenging, slightly uncomfortable, but still possible to function.

As with any substance, SL, like "slee" and "naslee" is a topic of contention. The word "entheogen" means "that which causes God to be within an individual." It is impossible to quantify an individual's spirituality or level of connection to Hoo, but monitoring brain activity has yielded results that point to SL's arguably positive effects. It is undeniable that students have better retention of information and test results when under the influence of SL. Critics, however, do not agree at all with the use of substances to artificially boost a person's performance, be it for spiritual reasons or not.