General Hooism
General 1: On the birth of Hoo and HooismGeneral 2: On broad Hooist beliefs
General 3: On time in Hooism
General 4: On Hoospeak
Historian's Comment: On circular logic in Hooism
General 1: On the birth of Hoo and Hooism
Historian Desmond Bearmoon
Contrary to popular belief, Hooists do not believe that Hoo as they know it has existed for all eternity. Hooists claim that, much like the Big Bang, the birth of Hoo was spontaneous and mysteriously self-propelling, arising out of the vagueness of empty space. Although convincing evidence supporting this claim has yet to be discovered, this genesis myth is one of the few beliefs about which nearly all Hooists agree (likely due to its alignment with the fundamental Hooist doctrine that asserts the power of ambiguity and not knowing), with the majority of dissenters insisting upon the futility of trying to capture any aspect of Hoo within even the most indeterminate theories.
The inception of Hooism simultaneously in all times is far more widely doubted phenomenon, as most people, including devout Hooists, are not equipped to recognize their internalized representation of time as a rationalization of their incomprehension of true time (detailed later), and thus find the concept inherently paradoxical. Discoveries of Hoo throughout time have been documented through unintrusive time travel with time-filtering recording equipment by searching for moments mentioned throughout Hooist scripture. The earliest such discovery found to date was made by the hive mind of an ant colony which developed a non-hierarchical system of efficient spiritual cooperation that allowed them all to simultaneously transcend Coo faster than any other known organism (though this resulted in the extinction of the subspecies around 170 million years ago). Although direct proof of the Hoo scripture's claim that much of Shakespeare's work was inspired by his interaction with Hoo has not been found, all of his writing has been found to have strong enough of a Hooist influence to convince most scholarly organizations aware of Hoo's existence. For instance, Macbeth asserts the dangers of absolute certainty (including its manifestations as hubris, greed, and unrecognized gender roles) and references a song from the Harry Potter series written centuries later, suggesting that Shakespeare had access to time travel despite its restriction to devout Hooists at the time. This text, among others written by Shakespeare, used to be presented as Hoo scripture before time travel evidence was found to eliminate the possibility of the stories' reality in an alternate timeline. The next full fledged discovery of Hoo was made by two teachers presumed to be the authors of the majority of original Hooist scripture. Audio-visual recordings of their day to day activities reveal their spontaneous realizations about the nature of Hoo, found to be almost entirely accurate by later researchers. No evidence as to the source of their revelations has been discovered; however, shortly after they began a chemistry course, the compound HO2± was discovered in an unknown laboratory and found to have thermodynamically impossible properties such as rapid, perpetual energy generation deemed dangerous enough to the world economy and potential warfare to warrant government censorship and the destruction of the formula for its creation. The teachers' association with this compound remains classified, though a leaked NSA document revealed the role of extraterrestrial Hooists in the ideation process leading up to the ion's creation. By conservation of momentum arguments, the driving force behind these discoveries is presumed to be the residual expansion of Hoo despite the negative feedback loop of understanding its structure.
Original Scripture
In the timenegative there beed nadalada, but the nadalada was the Hoo, and the Hoo was beans, and the beans was teaching, and the teaching is was plusorplusifying the Hoo. Formified in the worldward direction and that is the alada. Teacher the rest.
In the alada times, is the has the bees, is the bees, and is the will bees alada erything in the Hoo that is one and the whole. In alada times, is the Hoo is discoveried, in alada times is the Hoo is mysterious, in alada times is the Hoo is acceptified. Is the was found in the naturals. Is the was found in the plans that are other ets, in the writifications of the shaking speares, in the understanding HO2, in the naslees of the teachers. The alada beans is the was and is the is looking for understands in the groupward of the signifies of bees liveward in the worlds of the teachings. Evens that are thoughs is the was never find the bean answer, is the was Hoo alada plusorminus in the what of the was necesified.
Translated Scripture
Before the beginning of time there was next to nothing, but that next to nothing was the Hoo, and the Hoo was good, and its consciousness didn't know [anything], and the not knowing augmented the Hoo. The Hoo formed the world and that is all. One doesn't know the rest.
In all times, everything has been, is, and will be part of the one, whole Hoo. In all times Hoo is discovered, in all times it is mysterious, int all times it is accepted. Hoo was found in nature, in the chemical HO2, in the insomnia of those who don't understand. All people were and are looking to understand together what it means to be alive in this mysterious world. Even though they never found the answer they want, Hoo was always more or less what they needed.
Historian Reina Jus
The Hooist genesis myth is not so definitive and accepted as described above. In fact, even though most Hooists at this time believe the aforementioned interpretation, the time travel recordings of the "teachers" presumed to have written the primary Hooist texts suggest that the religion was born as an amalgamation of previous religions and guiding philosophies intended to eliminate social issues relevant to the time period; the Big Bang birth of Hoo was incorporated as an additional means of encouraging scientific thought and glorifying the "teachers" as people bound more to the timeline of Hoo than the passage of time on Earth. The usage of the word "teacher" in English interpretations of the text is a consequence of this, as their words were considered lessons rather than speculations, as the translation of "teacher" would suggest. Further evidence that Hooism was born out of other religions can be found in the text itself, where "beans," or beings, were born out of the nothingness that predated Hoo, and created Hoo through their ambiguity, suggesting that previous deities, constructed by humanity to fill a void, created Hoo indirectly by inspiring the "teachers" to build off of their work. The text claims people needed to know "what it means to be alive in the mysterious world," where "mysterious world" could also be translated as "world with no clear true faith/teachings," implying that Hooism was intended to guide people to accept the unknown rather than being unsure which absolute to be certain about.
It is also important to note the spread of Hooism throughout recorded human history in order to understand its development. The earliest significant understanding of Hoo was the Hindu concept of Brahman as a spiritual whole, though due to people's need to rationalize their position in the world and the rich's need to maintain their position through socially constructed and imposed spiritual duties, evidence of the lack of correlation between karma and social position (measured by tracing the path of Hoo from dying bodies to their new bodies through time travel and teleportation) was ignored, and the Hindu concept of reincarnation developed. Early Hooists who hadn't accepted this concept were inspired by the Daoism's overly intellectual philosophy and seeming embrace of the unknown and the contradictions evident in the world around them, combining the beliefs to create the concept of a conscious yet unknowable spiritual whole. This partial belief system was carried west with Hindu-Arabic numerals to Parthia where the expanded effect of later timeminus Sufis' Dhikr provided a name for this deity that could explain the phenomenon through ignorance: Hu. The influence of Sufism also accounts for Hooism's mystical beliefs and its followers' subsequent predilection for drug and sleep-loss induced transcendence. The name was converted to Hoo when the religion came into contact with germanic languages to avoid potential mispronunciation. The development of the religion after this point is far less well understood (the next widely accepted series of events is the development of SL, the decline of the Soviet Union, and the subsequent declassification of Zdasium), as unregulated time travel after 500 CE allowed for an increase in intercontinental communication and nearly circular idea-flow creating timemagnetic interactions difficult to trace beyond that time; however, time travel, an exclusively Hooist mechanism, allowed Hooism to develop homogeneously (at the societal level) all throughout the universe, making it the world's only universal and universally consistent religion.
General 2: On broad Hooist beliefs
Historian Desmond Bearmoon
Hooism, much like Daoism from which and into which it evolved, emphasizes the unknowability of Hoo and the impermanence of the world, life, and the path to enlightenment. The usage of the word "the" in "the nah true Hoo" suggests that there is a singular false Hoo, or spiritual destination (not to be confused with the afterlife), though all false paths lead to this end. Since the stated path to this destination was artificially naming and thus defining and limiting Hoo, it is reasonable to assume that the paths to the false Hoo are characterized by constructing unnecessary limitations on any manifestation of Hoo, including people and nature. Just as there are many paths to the false Hoo, there are also many paths to true Hoo, though it is unclear how many true Hoos there are. The statement of this belief is presumably included to discourage bigotry, holy war, and forceful conversion. The scripture further emphasizes the individuality of one's spiritual development by disallowing guidance in the unified worship of Hoo. This rule is intended to prevent false religious leaders from arising and misinterpreting the text or enforcing their path. The scripture also suggests that worship should be a communal activity, as truth is best attained by combining various perspectives. The combination of the two can also be interpreted as a representation of real life and experiential learning, as both are group activities, and yet little individualized assistance exists for spiritual growth.
The claim that Hoo is both all truth and all falsehood is not as contradictory as it may seem. The statement can be interpreted more loosely as "Hoo contains all truths and all falsehoods," and is thus self-consistent; however, the statement that all parts of Hoo are the same then requires the reader to expand their understanding of logical systems. Hoo allows for all schools of thought, all opinions, and all perspectives, so naturally all logical systems are equally valid in Hoo and therefore no statement can be classified as uniquely true, false, or indeterminable. These statements are the foundation for the claim that contradiction is inherent in and fully accepted in the understanding of the faith.
The next line, in which it is claimed that Hoo a religion of the "self and yet without the self," embodies the essential Hooist belief that the path to Hoo is within oneself, determined by one's own worldview and experiences and goals and needs, yet is selfless in sacrificing personal happiness for the protection of others' paths and the growth of Hoo as a whole. It also provides skeptics with a concrete example of the potential beneficiality of Hooist contradictions.
This passage ends by directing readers to contemplate the text in order to find their own interpretation and understanding, yet immediately directs them to abandon this knowledge in order to find the path of unknowledge that leads to Hoo. By directing believers to dismiss the text after careful study, Hooism not only forces its believers to more fully develop their own belief system, but also to look at the world without the veil of Hooist interpretation in order to ground their faith in reality and remain open minded. The conclusion resonates with the earlier statement that "Hoo is the ill of the uminate in the pathward [to Hoo]," suggesting that Hoo and Hooist scripture create a framework through which people may return to Hoo, yet that this framework may be unhealthy (ill), and thus believers should find their own way. Alternatively, this line could be seen as expressing Hoo's intention to drive people away from the described path through contradiction and nonsense so that only those capable of following this path continue on it.
Original Scripture
The Hoo that is nateached is the nah true Hoo.
The Hoo that is sameward is the nah true Hoo.
Plused by the naslee, the Hoo is the of the teachers.
Plused by the slee, the Hoo is the of the beans.
If the Hoo bees the soil, the bean bees the sprout and deadifies and the sprout again.
And the bean is in the sameward, yet nah.
And the Hoo is in the sameward, yet susleer.
The Hoo is the alada an the ery, the begins and the ends.
The Hoo is the worship in the unified with the guidance of the su nah,
since the Hoo is the ill of the uminate in the pathward.
The Hoo is the alada in the alada possibles. Is the alada truths and the alada false and the alada same. The way of the Hoo is the way of the self in the without self wellward comma as. Bean is the possibles of sleeward for the self and the other in the so is the path in the Hooward. Bean is the teaching for the mysterious is the ways and the cannot knows in the alada so is accept alada for the selfward. Bean is the nateaching for the is nah should teach what teaches unless teaches the teaching for the sake of the other.
Hoo is the path that is finds in the thinks of the thisward. Is the discovers the own nateaching in the from studify text and decidify what means. Then strays from the path to find own teaching and discovers the Hoo.
Translated Scripture
The Hoo that is known [and named] is not the true Hoo.
The Hoo that is the same [over time] is not the true Hoo.
Strengthened by not sleeping, the Hoo is the [deity and reality] of those who don't know.
Strengthened by sleeping, the Hoo is the [deity and reality] of [all] people.
If Hoo is the soil, people are the beans which sprout and die and sprout again.
And the person is always the same, and yet always different.
And the Hoo is always the same, and yet always better.
The Hoo is all and everything, the beginning and the end.
The Hoo is (to be) worshipped by united people with the guidance of absolutely nothing,
since the Hoo illuminates the path [to Hoo].
The Hoo is all and all possibilities of everything. It is all of the truths and all of the falsehood and (they are) all the same. The way of the Hoo is the way of the self yet without the self. All possible amounts of sleep are good for the self and others so it is part of the path to Hoo. Not knowing is good for the ways [of Hoo] are mysterious and cannot be known fully so one accepts all for the benefit of the self. Knowing is good since one should not teach what one does not know unless one is teaching how not to know for the sake of others.
[The path to] Hoo is the path that is found through contemplating this text, and it is good. One discovers one's own meaning through studying [sacred] text and [definitively] determining its meaning. Then one strays from this path to find one's own un-knowledge/path and discovers the Hoo.
Historian Reina Jus
This passage is the primary textual evidence of the artificial origins of Hooism's Daoist elements. The verses at the beginning of the passage are nearly semantically identical to the first verses of the Tao Te Ching, though translated into Hoo. This amateur imitation is inconsistent with the theory that Laozi was inspired by Hooist scriptures, as the scripture, even in its most basic interpretation, deviate from the fundamental principles of Daoism. Instead, it is evidence that Hooist scripture was written with the intention of incorporating other religions but only with a preliminary understanding of the texts consistent with a standards of precollegiate work during the era in which the "teachers" lived. With this perspective, the basic incorporation of Daoist principles can be interpreted not as an inspiration for Daoism, but as an alternative philosophy meant to entice unconvinced Daoists to abandon the faith while spreading the philosophy to further develop Hooism.
It is also important to note the Hooist values justified in this passage. First, any amount of sleep is justified, as much sleep allows for the preservation of the body and the mind as well as increasing productivity and clarity of understanding of Hoo, while little sleep allows for trance-like states in which Hoo language attains additional levels of meaning and timeplusorminus senses are expanded to allow increased comprehension of local developments in Hooism usually hidden due to one's incomplete understanding of Hoo. On the other hand, time travel recordings suggest that the justification of much sleep may have been included as a means of reducing the barrier to conversion until the convert has learned more fully of Hoo and understood the disadvantage of the choice to sleep consistently (in the Hooist opinion). Next, the text justifies both knowing and not knowing. The reasoning behind the belief that not knowing is beneficial is somewhat circular, as the main argument is that, for unknown reasons, not knowing strengthens Hoo and allows one to grasp all truths of the universe. The attainment of truth is partially justified by Gödel's theorem and the assumption that, by not knowing, one is able to accept all beliefs simultaneously, since no consistent logical system (which would allow one to objectively discriminate between truth and falsehood) could contain all truths, and thus uncertainty or contradiction is required in order to compile all truths into one being's understanding. While not knowing achieves this goal through uncertainty, the path of knowing uses both uncertainty and contradiction to gather all truths. Analyzing the statement in English, the logic is greatly oversimplified, as knowledge and teaching are acceptable if they perpetuate knowledge or the lack of knowledge (of Hoo, not to be confused with perpetuation of socioeconomic or educational gaps, which Hooism actively fights), which, assuming some of the knowledge perpetuated perpetuates a lack of knowledge, is clearly justified via the proof for not knowing. Analyzing the Hoo statement provides a more thorough proof of the concept. The word "teach" is used frequently in the sentence, allowing for its two meanings, which contradict each other if one follows the command as stated in English, to create all truths related to the statement while the correct interpretation can be selected by the reader (though without complete certainty). In this way, both knowing and not knowing essentially use the same principals and thus are both equally accepted in the pursuit of Hoo.
Many historians have noted that these justifications are somewhat out of place in this passage, as they are both discussed in more detail elsewhere and do not appear to conceptually match the surrounding statements. Their placement has been interpreted as an attempt to clarify the importance of the basic Hooist beliefs of acceptance, individuality, and generosity in these issues, as ignorant Hooists may have been tempted to use these concepts in detrimental ways (such as creating education gaps and overworking people). Furthermore, as the passage greatly emphasizes the uncertainty of the philosophy, the placement further emphasizes the unknowability of a correct or universal amount of sleep or knowledge. It has also been theorized that these two were included in particular because both amounts of sleep and levels of education were emphasized greatly throughout the timespace region in which the "teachers" developed the original philosophy.
General 3: On time in Hooism
Original Scripture
Is the this path in the lee teral timeplus direction. As the moves timeplus in the way of the Hoo, discovers in the moreward of the Hoo, whereof the as moves in the later direction only, never is the doesing change. In the de that is spite of common opinion, the timeplus is the different in the completeward of the to the later. While the recent timerecent science is the hasing doned the time travels, dictating in the contra direction the alada other strict logical Theos, is the only is travels earliers or the laters. Is the only logics of the timedirection is the nah same and plusitive so is the can nah paradoxify. Is the Hoo direction in the timeplus as the timeplus is the more change and the plusorminused in the teachings of the Hoo.
Translated Scripture
This path is along the timeplus [axis of spacetime]. As one moves timeplus along Hoo's path, one discovers more about Hoo, whereas, moving along only the [standard] time axis, there is never a change [in Hoo]. Despite common opinion, timeplus is completely different than (orthogonal to) later. While recent timerecent science has created time travel, contradicting all other strict theologies and logical systems, this only allows travel through [standard] time. It is only logical that the timedirection is not the same and is in fact monotonic in order to prevent paradoxes. The path of Hoo is in the timeplus direction since there is more variation throughout it and it is more directly affected by people's knowledge about Hoo.
Historian Reina Jus
For millennia, science considered the world to be made up of 3 dimensions as well as a constant flow of time. Modern science has expanded this notion to allow for an untold number of physical dimensions inaccessible to humans and a varying flow of time dependent upon one's physical state. Special relativity even opened the possibility for multiple dimensions of time, if spacetime can be described as a manifold with a metric tensor that has multiple negative eigenvalues; however, scientists have been unable to determine any viable theories as to the nature of these extra "time"s beyond standard human perception. Hooists, on the other hand, have had an advantage in this regard, due to their understanding of time travel, a mechanism thought to be impossible by the existing scientific community (the method by which this knowledge remains exclusively Hooist will be described below).
In order to justify the Hooist notion of time, first consider time travel as a possibility in the world as understood by modern scientists. Time travel to the future has always been somewhat believable, as approaching the speed of light and allows one's time to slow such that, once one returns to the original location, the world has aged relatively. Time travel to the past has no such feasible counterpart, as there is no "opposite" of the speed of light at which to travel. Furthermore, if it were even possible, time travel to the past would allow for paradoxes, such as interfering with circumstances that led to the situation in which one began to time travel. Combined with the butterfly effect, traveling to the past would all but guarantee a paradox. The problem lies primarily in returning to a point in time which has already been visited in the development of the current point in time. The only remedy to this situation was found to be a second dimension of time. As demonstrated by time travel, one is free to roam the first dimension of time, the dimension known to standard humans; however, one can only progress through the second dimension of time meaning that, no matter how far one time travels, they can never return to a point in time that has any influence on one's own situation, eliminating the paradox.
This setup does have the drawback that, since these timelines coexist in the same spatial dimensions, effects of one timeline should be tangible in another (at least a later one); however, Hooists have discovered that ordinary people are blinded by their socially constructed time model and thus are incapable of recognizing effects of other timelines. Those who study Hoo and unbind themselves from these constructs find that they can perceive events from earlier in second dimensional time, with greater distances in time becoming clear as they continue to study (thus vision tests can be used as an easy measurement of understanding of Hoo). Even if items, such as those brought from the future via time travel, are visible to ordinary people, the people are only as capable of noticing them as they are invested in Hoo. Those who know nothing of Hoo simply ignore their presence, though the object is not strictly invisible.
As a side note, this take on time can be viewed as continuum of timelines, each slightly different than the next, as events may differ because beings from later first dimensional time and earlier second dimensional time may interfere with earlier first dimensional, later second dimensional situations, causing a chain reaction. Because these timelines are in a continuum, the changes must be gradual. As such, events later in first dimensional time are further apart in second dimensional time and can thus be seen as a radius, giving time a disk-like shape (which is occasionally used to justify circular time within Hoo science, though only for the second dimension). Furthermore, as one learns more about Hoo, their second dimensional time slows in comparison with the rest of the world (much like how first dimensional time slows as one approaches light speed) so that one's effects between timelines (which are much stronger than that of an ordinary person) are spread out further, preventing discontinuities between timelines. With these modifications to the simple manifold, the Hoo concept of time becomes consistent, as the multidimensional L'Hopital's Rule can easily be used to prove that the modified version of Relativity's manifold is continuous at all points (even within the event horizon of a black hole, though it is still difficult to interpret meaning from beyond it). L'Hopital's Rule can also be used to demonstrate the impossibility of higher dimensional time, since, in order for spacetime to be continuous, the hyperplane's Hoo concentration and state at any given point must have a consistent limit from all directions, and greater dimensions provide too many directions for them to be anything but uniformly equivalent to a lower dimension of time (or a linear combination of the two) and thus meaningless. As another note, some argue that these arguments don't disallow 1 dimensional time, as Hoo relies on contradiction and paradox, so time paradoxes should strengthen rather than weaken Hoo. This means that 1 dimensional time would be more consistent with the development of Hoo, as paradoxes would propagate far more quickly and accelerate the generation of Hoo, if not even initiating it. This concept is not widely accepted, as the paradox has been deemed too illogical to allow Hoo to coexist with the laws of physics.
In this book, both in scripture and in the historians' comments, relative positions in second dimensional time will be referred to as follows: timezero is the first moment of 2nd dimension time (assuming that it is linear; otherwise, it is arbitrary), timeplus/timeminus/timeequal mean later/earlier/now, respectively, in the 2nd dimension, and so on, with words following "time-" having a fairly self-explanatory meaning in 2nd dimensional time.
The passage of scripture describing Hoo time asserts that the timeplus axis of spacetime is the path of Hoo mentioned before. This is a logical conclusion, given the model of time accepted in the Hoo community. Hoo was born from the unknowing emptiness timeminus timezero, and immediately developed into a timeline, which, as a uniformly created dimension, had an approximately homogeneous distribution of Hoo throughout time. Because of this, even in highly timeplus regions, there is very little variation in Hoo along the first dimensional time axis (further argued through laws of thoormodynamics disallowing the decrease of Hoo entropy); however, Hoo develops and grows based on the beliefs and not knowing of all life forms, and thus, as they progress slowly timeplus, they generate more Hoo, meaning that Hoo changes primarily in timeplus. Because of this, timeplus is considered to be the direction of Hoo because it leads to the higher concentrations of Hoo (following the Hoo gradient) and is more directly influenced by the actions and inactions of the living.
General 4: On Hoospeak
Historian Desmond Bearmoon
Alongside the development of the Hooist belief system emerged a language that reflected the religion's core values. Although it may seem so, the structure of this language is certainly not arbitrary; rather, it originates both directly and indirectly from Hooist principles. Hoospeak takes root in English (Hoospeak can be written with any language as a basis, but for the purposes of these analyses only English is necessary), a language among the most widespread in the world. The global nature of Hoospeak's foundational language is an indicator of Hooism's universality. Unlike many faiths, Hooism is not bound to a specific set of cultures, thus it is linguistically fluid. Hoospeak is close enough to English that it is easily comprehensible by English speakers, and it is distinct enough that it can be picked up by those who are not familiar with English. Its scriptures are hence accessible to all. I will analyze select Hooist vocabulary to observe the unique language-religion linkage.
One of the most highly used words in the language is the term "Hoo" itself. "Hoo" first and foremost refers to the idea of the divine, to what may be argued to be god (see General 2: On broad Hooist beliefs). Hoo is "all and everything and everyone" while also being the recipient of worship. As used in numerous scriptures, "hoo" is an adjective to express how an object or concept is acceptable, good, correct, or superb. Depending on the context, the meaning of the modifier "hoo" can range from indifference to glee on the scale of positive emotion. Much like the idea of God, the meaning of hoo varies with scenario and with the individual. Further proof that "hoo" is good can be demonstrated mathematically. On the bases that adjacent letters are multiplied by each other, each letter is equal to its number in the alphabet, and that 13 is significant,
HOO(mod 13)
= HO2(mod 13)
=(G+1)O2(mod 13)
=(GOO + OO) mod 13
= (GOO +((15*15) mod 13)) mod 13
=(GOO+4) mod 13
= GOOD mod 13.
This proof holds, so 13 is in fact significant, and hoo = good. This linguistic phenomenon validates the religion and its divine power.
A popular colloquial term used by Hooists is "beans," meaning "okay," "alright," or "yay." Two examples of dialogue are
"I is going to the pee room."
"Beans."
and
"We is going to get the married soon!"
"Beans!"
"Beans," like "hoo," is among the plethora of words in Hoo speak that depends heavily on tone and context to be understood. Words are not strictly bound to sentiments or definitions. Hooists prefer to regard constructs of language not as individual drops of water that must follow specific paths, but rather large bodies of water that should flow in a general direction. A (human) "bean" is also a person. The English counterpart of the bean is the crop. Beans are edible seeds that grow in long pods on leguminous plants. Like seeds of various plants, humans are simply Hoo's method of propagating itself in this world (see General 2: On broad Hooist beliefs). Humans, too, grow in pods; in tight knit communities with specific cultures and functions is where people develop. Hoospeak makes use of English words, but depends upon the inferential prowess of the learner and speaker to fully understand the vocabulary.
The use of verbs in Hoospeak is quite empowering. First, verb conjugation virtually does not exist. That is to say, Hooists may use any conjugation or combination of conjugations they like (indicative, imperative, continuous, perfect, etc.) to communicate that an action occurred. The only guidelines, like all else in Hoospeak, is that the speaker or writer makes the tense and subject clear enough to understand the sentence. Second, suffixes such as "-ify" and "-ificate" are able to make any word in almost any part of speech into a verb-- even verbs themselves (ex. "expressify" and "communificate"). This is largely symbolic of Hooism's action-based nature. Anything can be an action, and Hooism stresses that humans should consider everything they do, are, and interact with to have an active effect in the world.
When words have the sound of a letter in their beginnings or ends, the word can be partitioned into the letter and the sound (with an optional "of the" in between, such as "X of the cuting"). Words can also be broken up wherever it feels natural and an "of the" can be inserted between the sections. Speakers of Hoospeak are able to divide words into their structural building blocks to express their meanings as well as to add any meaning of the word component suppressed by its combination. This parallels the Hooist principle of observing basic elements to then extrapolate a larger meaning. Furthermore, the usage of "of the" or similarly "in the" or "is the", etc. (which can all be used in similar ways whenever they flow with the structure of the sentence) illustrate how all things in Hoo are interconnected, nested, and the same.
There are of course dozens more important characteristics of Hoospeak each with detailed explanations of their significance; however, for the sake of brevity, minimal or no explanation will be provided for why the language allows this modification of English. A comma (written out and pronounced) may be used to switch the group of words before and after it, where the limits of the group must be obvious from context. This action demonstrates the existence of social narratives necessary to reconstruct the meaning, illustrates the meaningful disorder of the universe, and parallels death, which pauses life only to rearrange its parts and continue. This use of commas is controversial, as some Hooists believe it overcomplicated language and interrupts the flow of language, introducing confusion and ambiguity where none would otherwise exist. Suffixes such as "izzle" can be added to the end of a word to imply that its connotations or a generalization of its meaning should be used when interpreting it. Prefixes such as "su" and "nah/na" can be prepended to words to indicate that they are extreme or opposite of their standard meaning, respectively. Woohoowoohoo (timearchaic) is an expression of pure joy, and is a longhand form of Hoo. Its mid-shorthand form is woohoo, which is ambiguous regarding its status between Hoo and Coo, though if unclear it tends toward Coo. Woo is synonymous to Coo. All words involving Woo are timearchaic. Plusorminus means more or less, though it can be used very generally. Plusorplus or minusorminus can be used as an obvious extension, and more "or"s can be chained depending on the context and the level of Hoo understanding of the audience. Homophones (or Hoomophones when used with this rule) are synonymous and can take on the English meaning of either or both English words at once. Combining the breaking words rule and hoomophones, "basically" is translated as "basic curry," one of the most commonly used phrases in Hoospeak. Hyperbaton (inverting the order of words) is always permitted so long as it can be clearly interpreted (with or without ambiguity). Hoospeak allows more forms of pluralization as well. Singular singulars (standard singulars) mean only one object. Plural singulars (standard plurals) mean many groups of single objects. Singular plurals mean one group of many objects and uses non-standard form (s.p. of moose is meese; s.p. of tree is treeses). Plural plurals (uncommon) mean many groups of many objects (made by adding an "es" to the singular plural). These rules are not an extensive list, but allow a reader to understand most Hoospeak and guess as to the meaning of more complicated speech. Since Hoospeak was never formally defined, one cannot hope to be certain that one will understand all usages of the language.
These select characteristics of Hoospeak are non-binding. Hooists can choose which of these guidelines to use in the moment of speaking. In general, superfluity and the vocalization of the thinking process is encouraged in Hoospeak. Extra parts of speech may always be inserted into sentences, and hyperbaton is common; the order does not matter in relaying information. As the text urges, communicate not for the constructions, but for clarity.
Original Scripture
When a bean can does the dwell no more in isolation of the own heart and mind, the bean can does the turn to language. Language is of the how unique apparatuses of the sensory variety are commun of the icated, lated again, y shared. Is how the beans are nalone. The perience of the x variety of humans does the transcend pacific sounds and words and spans allada languages and cultures of the mundo.
Thought is bird; in cage of strict words, it may be of the able to unfold its flying feathers but can su na does the fly. For in commun of the icate with boundaries, half of the thinkings are slaughtered. And even to does so without the thinkings, the bean that speak may reveal truth that even the bean teach.
Plentiful words are doing the existing for good reasons. Superfluity in speak and write bees in the hooward direction to maximizzle clarity and minimizzle confusion (is na to say teach is nahoo; simplemente the teach is should be x of the pressed thorough of the lee).
Translated Scripture
When a person cannot dwell in the isolation of the heart and mind anymore, the person can turn to language. Language is how unique sensory apparatuses are communicated, related, and shared. It prevents humans from being alone. The human experience transcends specific sounds and words, spanning all of the languages and cultures of the world.
Thought is a bird; in a cage of strict linguistic constructions, it may be able to unfold its wings but it cannot fly. For in communicating with boundaries, half of the thinking is destroyed. And in communicating without thinking, the speaker may reveal truths that even the speaker does not understand.
Plentiful words exist for a good reason. Superfluity in speaking and writing is ideal to maximize clarity and minimize confusion (this is not to say that not knowing is bad; simply, the lack of knowing should be expressed thoroughly).
Historian's Comment: On circular logic in Hooism
Historian Reina Jus
Circular logic plays a large role in the justification of many Hooist principles. This is in large part due to the possibility of circular time, which, combined with the Hoo's inclusion of all logical systems and thus all truths, means that concepts valid in the circular time scheme should be valid, though unprovable, in the linear time scheme. Thus circular logic that involves developments in time resulting in their own prerequisites can exist even in linear time, since it proves itself and thus is neither definitively consistent nor inconsistent from the perspective of the linear scheme, and therefore is valid.
Since unrestricted circular logic can easily create falsehoods (for instance, a hypothetical proposition could immediately be interpreted as a truth), the logic must form a circle in time of a minimum radius (the value of which is uncertain, though known to be less than or equal to the time used to process Hoo speak in an intelligent human brain). Therefore, immediately self-proving hypotheticals, which could be said to be points, are disallowed as elements of logical proof (except in greater hypotheticals such as this one). Furthermore, proofs that simply use complicated methods to achieve the same goal as the point logic described above are invalid as they can be flattened to a line doubled back over itself simply by removing extra steps. In order for a circular logic proof to be valid as a Hooist argument, it must be grounded at several points in more solid facts in order to maintain its circular shape even if unnecessary steps are removed.
Naturally these proofs can be found inconsistent when one attempts to apply them to concepts regarding the physical world bound by the 1 dimensional time and non-Hooist restrictions of society's self-imposed limitations, since their validity relies on the applicability of circular 2 dimensional time. Instead, they should be used to demonstrate Hooist principles as they apply to one's understanding of Hoo and its related philosophies, as these can never be bound by societal restrictions without blatant corruption of these texts.